Thursday, April 30, 2009

so delightful

things that are delightful:
funny airport workers
flights that aren’t completely full
small airplanes/ feeling like the pres on air force one as you walk to the tiny plane on the blacktop
small towns with small airports
sitting by a scottish businessman on an airplane
baby babble
pickup trucks
80s pop
onesies with pandas on them
hugs from 7 year olds
cute ticket takers at small movie theatres
zac efron in aviators and tight jeans
old houses
stuffed pizza
the faces babies make while teething
wobbly babies who can't hold their heads up
small and/or old things (not commonly found in vegas)
britney spears singing toxic
being asked how old my baby is
huge bags of craisins
baby burying his face in my chest

so the last week or so has been great! the flights were fun, especially from portland to medford. i was on a tiny plane. it didnt even have wings, just propellors!! it was so cute. i felt like the president cuz we walked out to it and up the stairs and i felt like i should turn around and blow a kiss to my public. the ride on the tiny plane was very bouncy. the guy sitting next to me was a hot 40 year old type. you know those guys who somehow still look great with all gray hair? yeah. plus he was from scotland. he was studying to be a cfa. (don't ask me what it is, i just remember the f stood for financial.) as soon as i got off the plane, debbie and xan were right there! the airport was teeny tiny. that night we went to hometown buffet. there was a bowling team having their end of the season awards ceremony. pretty funny. then i put xan's hair in sponge curlers. in the morning i took xan to school after i did her hair (and we stopped at dutch brothers). then i went running which was good. i did about 4.3 miles according to then gram and i took henry and went to mcdonalds for salads. some lady asked me how old my baby was. haha when we got home, ethan and i went to see 17 again. the ticket guy was really cute and so was zec efron. the movie was ok. the house where zec efron was staying was incredible. then i took him to cold stone. then we hung out for a while until debbie got home with pizza from papa murphy's. then we watched run fat boy run. i fell asleep like 15 minutes before it was over.... good day. :)

ive been thinking about families. i see how fictional the perfect picket fence family that i see in my mind in my future is. the thing that is clear is that nothing i expect will happen will happen. i wonder how my life will play out. one thing is for sure though, with friends and family like mine (and the gospel) it will be good.

today i finally understood: the purpose of mudflaps
today i treated others: the way i want to be treated
today i can't believe: it's already may
today i am grateful for: little diners

Sunday, April 26, 2009

30 years and 5 kids later, and they still like each other. and food.

i love las vegas. its so sunny and beautiful, and there are actual adults working at restaurants!! that's  what i was most pleased about at my parents 30th anniversary dinner!!! i was the first one to walk in, and as they seated us, i told the hostess that it was my parents' anniversary and she says 'anniversary ok' and i knew she would do the rest.  dinner was delightful. (my parents got a free dessert--i was hoping for an obnoxious song with clapping and arrrrribas!!! but this place was way too classy...) everything was delicious and made me so nostalgic for italy. i felt like a returned missionary reliving the good old days in the field. well i think ill let the pictures do the talking. i realized afterward that i had only taken pictures of the food and not of the people... go figure

i just want to let everyone know how wonderful my parents are. i dont know how to say in words, but i am beyond grateful that they put the effort into creating and running my wonderful family. my family isn't perfect, but i only have to look around at the crazy world to know i would never want anyone else. thanks mom and dad for bringing us together. i love you!!

today i was disappointed that: the full text editor was down
today i changed: three poopy diapers.
today i wished that: it was socially acceptable to wear socks with ruffles around the ankles
today i was deemed: a hot fat slut. hahahahaha

Thursday, April 23, 2009

living the life

so i've been thinking about myself. not in a totally selfish way, just like the ways that i have changed and stuff. i feel like im not the same person that i was a few years ago, but i also feel like other people have a hard time accepting that. you know what i say? accept it. because i like who i have become. i wish that people could forget the jerk i used to be and see that im a good person now! i know who i am and what i want, and no one is going to come between me and my life. im happy, i try to be kind, and im still learning. 

what a crazy week... it was probably the shortest week i have ever experienced, and im still alive and well. plans have changed, tests have been taken, tears have been shed, weight has been gained, sleep has been lost, and messes have been made, and still i have good old tiger (my computer) by my side. well i have added a new member to my family of things (joining tiger, luna the ipod, electra the bike, and heimlich my car). his name is fabio and he's a delightful little digi cam. 
aint he cute? :) so now i will be regularly posting pictures! yay :) 

i got a lot done today. i got my teeth cleaned, i got my camera, i did my laundry, i got the shoes that im going to be wearing all over europe (this was probably the most important part. they are cute and silver with an orange sole!!)

so i realized a few days ago that i never reported the results of my media fast. (for anyone who doesn't know, i didn't watch tv or movies or listen to pop music for the month of march) the principle was this: in marriage prep we were talking about how 90+% of immorality stems from participation in improper media, so we were challenged to go a month without it and see how we feel. i dont know that it did anything for my morality, but it really helped with my time. it was so nice to not be able to come in and flop down in front of the tv. since then, i really have had little desire to watch tv (except what not to wear....) 
its just a huge waste of time. it was also surprising to realize how much music i listen to (and how much tv i watch...). i listen to music as soon as i sit down at work, as soon as i walk in th door from school, as soon as i get in the car. its crazy. the last thing i learned was that it is literally impossible to stay away from media. walking through a building on campus, they play music. i come home from school, my roommates are watching a movie. my teacher shows a clip on a powerpoint in class. get in someone else's car and they are playing music. its just crazy how hard it really was to do it. so i dont think my chasteness increased at all but i seriously learned a lot. and of course, to celebrate when i finished, i watched human beings being ripped apart in jurassic park. thank you spielberg.
today i relished: being done with school so early
today i spent: more money than i have in a long time
today i told: miriam a secret
today i should have: washed my feet  

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Sunday, April 12, 2009

happy easter!

i am a huge believer in the relationship of emotion and color. on friday i was planning my mocktail, i woke up early, i talked to good friends, it was just a great day. it was totally pink. yesterday was rushed and emotional. it was a deep rose red day. and then today....
earlier i wrote about how people make up this happy dream world on their blogs. well today was a rough day, and i learned that some people are mean. it was overcast and i forgot a lot of stuff. it was gray.
but right when i start thinking like that, i get this idea to call my mom. oh. my. gosh. 
i love you!!!!
mom i dont know if you read this, but thank you sosososososososososo much. you are my angel, and i couldn't have gotten through this day without you. (you're golden) so i was at a guys apt reading, basically right after he dumped me. again. i fell asleep on his couch for a little bit. then i woke up and i seriously felt like garbage, so i called mamallama and i feel like spring green. 

so this will be a good week. im throwing a mocktail party on tuesday: 
brandi's bridal shower is on thursday
im hiking the Y with billy joel on saturday. :) 
life= delightful. 
by Hillary Jade Ashman

Let's go to Exaltation
Where Eternal's hands
Are whole and open.
Let's accept the fruit that Eternal's 
Whole hands hold
Hovering with no hesitation.
Let's take a big bite and
Let the juice run down our chins.
Let's laugh while we 
Eat the whole treat.
Let's leave the dark in Eternal's hand,
And take the gift,
And never look back, 
And fly to Exaltation. 

To Fathom God
by Hillary Jade Ashman

The Earth exhales around me.
The seasons change
And so do I.
Concepts that were classified 
(Ageless and Perpetual)
Become tangible and
Ten tiny fingers
Tiptoe to the task, 
Seeking to firmly grasp.
And cautiously I begin
To begin
To begin
To fathom God. 
The breath of the Earth
Lightens me,
Enlightens me,
End light ends me,
The me that no one wants to be. 
Time and I move on together.
He's wrapped his blue blanket around my shoulders. 
It feels like a warm cloud of earthy condensation, 
And it cleans me in its steam. 
The Earth exhales around me.
The seasons change
And so do I.

today i leanred that: suzanne knows everything, especailly me.
today i admitted: yellow is my secret favorite color.
today i thought about a mug: because i painted one last night and it will be finished on wednesday!!!
today i am: beyond grateful.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

verità, waarheid, vèretiè, verdade, truth

canterbury (it probably looked a little different in chaucer's time)

chaucer’s pardoner was a sinful man. he was a drunk and a fornicator, and his companions on their journey to canterbury challenged him to tell a moral tale. he proceeds to tell a tale about three gluttonous men. they find a treasure and decide to split it equally. before they can take the loot, one of the men has to go to the town and get supplies. while he is gone, the two remaining men plan to kill him when he returns, and he decides to poison the wine that he is bringing to them so that he gets all the money to himself. when he returns, the others kill him, then, drinking the wine, the two men die as well. the moral of the tale: Radix malorum est cupiditas. 

 but the real question is: is this tale a true tale, if the man that told it is like the greedy murderers in the story? can an immoral man tell a moral tale? can you find any truth amid the evil in the world, and is it possible that that truth could come from some unexpected source?

as i was thinking about this in my humanities class, i thought about one of the most poignant experiences i have had with a friend who got involved with drugs, even to the point of jailing. he told me to never fall out of fellowship with the church and commended me for staying strong so far. clearly this person made some poor choices, but i really feel like i learned more from hearing this testimonial than i do when i hear it in sunday school.

truth is everywhere. in my creative writing class, in a dr. laura book, in a conversation with a young man who was jailed for drug use, in the pardoner’s tale, in a painting, in a park, in nature. 


its all about finding it.

today i finished: my media fast. me, jurasic park, couch, tonight. done. 

today i really want: money

today i secretly: applied my make-up at work

today my mouth tastes like: chicken noodle soup